No bailouts or magic formulas here.  I had racked up debt due to some overspending,  a brief period of unemployment, and then a longer stint of not making enough money.  Once I got a regular job again, I decided I was tired of paying interest, tired of being just like all those other over-strapped Americans.  I had gotten into the mess myself, and was determined to get out of it by myself.

I listened to Dave Ramsey who advocates paying cash for everything, and watched my financially savvy bofyriend as he did that every day.  I started a (mostly) cash-only diet, which has been much more successful than that other diet.

I geeked out with spreadsheets and budgets, read articles and blogs about frugal living, personal finance, and investing. I started putting as much as I possibly could toward my credit card every month.  I enjoyed watching my balance go down, and the monthly interest rate decline with it.  My goal was to pay off my credit card before the end of the year, and I accomplished that a whole month early.  It feels really good.  It’s been a looong journey.

Then, as if checking off my financial resolution for the year weren’t enough…on the very day I paid off my credit card, I walked into the Gap and bought a pair of jeans off the rack.   In a regular store!  Yay.

(OK, I have to admit that the dear boyfriend did more than act as a cash-only role model.  He’s been a ridiculously generous gentleman who takes me out more often than I deserve.  Thanks, D, if it weren’t for you, I’d have been eating beans and rice the whole time!)

I know, some are more ghostly than others, but all were fun to make.   I’m no Heidi Swanson, but I do occasionally have fun in the kitchen.   Trying to take decent pictures of the phantasms gave me renewed respect for photographers in general, but food photographers in particular.  Those mouthwatering photos are way beyond the simple point-and-click.  Not to mention that you have to have a clean kitchen with lots of space to get the best angle, especially if you want an action shot of your partner in crime.  Maybe next time!

I’m already thinking of how to tweak the design of the meringues to make them into Christmas trees.  It’s the gift that just keeps giving.

I wanted to simply enjoy the moment, revel in the fact that I’d just jumped off a ferry near The Rock and swam all the way to shore. Why were people asking, “What’s the next challenge?”

Before the swim, I told myself that if I jumped off the ferry and managed to swim a few strokes, that would equal success. Yes, in this instance, I set a pretty low bar. Of all the challenges I’ve taken on – a marathon, a triathlon, other races – this felt the scariest. I didn’t want to muck my head up any more with pesky expectations of finishing.

A few strokes in, I flung my hands in the air and cheered, “Success!” Then I kept moving…and in my head, I kept singing “Just keep swimming.” Yes, music from “Finding Nemo” (and a song from the musical “Barnum”) kept me moving. When I wasn’t singing, I was thinking, “I’m actually doing this…I’m doing something I’ve always dreamed of doing…Ugh, it’s choppy…I’m not moving…Just keep swimming…Wow! How many people get to see the skyline from this perspective?” It felt for a while as if I weren’t moving, then before I knew it I was halfway there. Somewhere along the way, I lost my friend Cheryl, but I knew the kayakers would keep her safe, so I just kept swimming. The kayakers, by the way, were overwhelmingly nice, wonderful, supportive people. They cheered, they said kind things, they put me back on course when I’d veered left, they offered to let me rest, they helped me to feel safe in what is a generally thought to be an insane endeavor.

Anyway, I blather. I finished. I was happy. I am happy. I drank beer and ate hot dogs with my cheering family and friends. They made the day exceptional; having them there made the celebration that much more special.

I don’t know what’s next. When I asked my friend Patty, “Sheesh! Why do people keep asking me that?” She said simply, “Because that’s who you are. You’ve always got something you’re working on.” When you put it like that, it’s not so pressure-filled.

Hmm…I’ve still got weight to lose. And I’ve always wanted to write a book.

My friend Jenny says that you should have a goal dress, and that it should be anything but black. I offer up my new goal dress.

So cute & sexy!

I have no occasion to wear said dress, but I’ve no doubt I can find one.

My other short-term goals are to complete nine open water practice swims between now and my Alcatraz swim, and to lose 12 more pounds (for a total of 25) by September 20, the day of the Heart Walk. If I can say “I’ve lost 25 pounds,” I will feel as if I’ve really accomplished something.

]]> http://www.marianisima.com/2009/07/18/a-goal-dress/feed/ 0 http://www.marianisima.com/2009/06/30/out-of-the-basement-into-limbo/ http://www.marianisima.com/2009/06/30/out-of-the-basement-into-limbo/#comments Wed, 01 Jul 2009 05:52:56 +0000 Mariana http://www.marianisima.com/?p=131 On January 1, I resolved to “climb out of the basement,” to get out of the plus-size department and into normal clothes.  Now that we’re halfway through the year, it’s a time for a status-check.

Well, I am mostly out of the basement, but now I’m in clothing limbo.  That is, most of the stuff in the big-girls departments doesn’t fit me anymore.  Yay, right?  Not exactly, because the “regular clothes” don’t fit me, either.  I’m smack between sizes.  Pants either hang off or cut off my circulation.  I’m down to only two pairs of work pants, and a couple of skirts/dresses.  I feel stranded on this plateau.

The good news: I’m smaller than I was, and I actually weigh what my license says!  I’ve had several compliments lately.

Now, for the remainder of the year, I’ve got to stop focusing on the numbers on the scale, and focus on the goals: feeling better, being healthier, and living more vigorously.  In fact, those are good goals for the remainder of my life.

What fuels my dream of school is not some grand plan for my life, or some mad passion for a subject matter, but really a love of learning. I want to take a smattering of different subjects – to feed my desire for knowledge, and then move on when I have had enough. In graduate school, you’re required to hone in on one subject, digging deeper and deeper, and nothing right now calls me to study with that kind of intensity and singularity of focus. I want to learn it all!

The Master’s Degree I need is an MDS – Master’s in Dilettante Studies. (Yes, I made that up.) Some of the classes will be academic, others artistic. Here’s my initial study wish list: mosaic, drawing, economics, photography, creative writing, jazz appreciation and history, dolphins, art history, calligraphy, glass blowing.

I could place out of the following MDS requirements, because I’ve already taken them: wire jewelry making, stained glass, photography 101, Art in the Prado Museum, Italian 1, Mediterranean Cooking.

The Phys-Ed component of my study plan is all about fun. I took an awkward stab at belly dancing, and am still working on water polo. An intensive swimming workshop or some one-on-one coaching is on the horizon, and possibly another dance class.

Really, what I need is another free night per week and a community college catalog!

You may remember a few months ago my registration sticker was ripped off.  Finally got the replacement, and put it on my car.  Not a week went by, and what happened?  No, the sticker wasn’t stolen.

The very Honda decal was ripped off my car.  What…?  People are crazy!  And please, don’t tell me it fell off.  There is no way it could have just fallen off.

My goal for the new year is to climb out of the basement!

I’ve joined with some friends on a mission to make some healthy lifestyle changes.  Yes, I want to wear smaller clothes and look better in them, but I’d also like to have more energy and a lower BMI.  My immediate goal, as some of you have heard before, is to lose 10% of my body weight.  I won’t be punishing myself with any weird crash diets, as I know that the key is “Eat Less. Exercise More.”  Sounds simple, but it is REALLY hard to put into practice.