I have a confession to make: before I have a get-together or party, I worry that it will suck. What if it’s not fun? What if the food is terrible? What if nobody talks to each other, or worse yet, what if they do and realize they really don’t like each other? While I know it’s irrational – after all, my people are fun – the worry seeps in every time.

On Saturday, we celebrated my fiftieth (50th!) birthday. Nearly twenty years ago, I came up with a theme for a party, “Come as a Song.” I never had the space to throw a costume party, and when we got married, I was informed that some of our friends wouldn’t show up for a costume party. Some time in the past few months, I decided, “What the heck?! It’s my birthday. MY party! I’m going for it.” I rationalized it was the cleverest costume party ever, because if guests weren’t into it, they could simply root through their closets, find something to wear, and google song lyrics. Still, as the party approached, stupid worries started nagging: What if people hate the theme and all come in everyday clothes, and on top of that don’t have a good time?

The worry stage, pre-party.
(The centerpieces were melted albums with candy inside. Each candy bowl had lyrics to go with them.)

All my worries got smashed to bits. It was a freaking blast! Every single person had a lyric to accompany their outfit, and more people than anticipated truly got into it. I had so much fun. It was two days ago and I’m still feeling high – and no, I never got high. I didn’t take a single picture, because I was too busy enjoying my guests, their costumes, and their friendship. So these photos are from other people, and sorry I can’t properly credit them.

Someone said, “Make a speech.” For all my public speaking experience, I was at a loss for words. I said something to the effect of, “I searched online for song lyrics about friendship, but they’re all hideously sappy. I am so thankful you all came, and your friendship means the world to me.”

“It’s my party, and I’ll cry IF I want to.”

Truth is, I cut myself short not for lack of words but for an overabundance of emotions that threatened to come pouring out as tears. Happy tears, yes, tears of gratitude, but I didn’t want to cry (even though my costume WAS “It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to”). I wanted to wholeheartedly savor my party and what it represented: surviving a half-century and being surrounded by my people – the family and friends who know me and love me and are willing to dress in drag or steampunk or rain gear all to help me celebrate this milestone. When I was younger, I wondered sometimes if I’d make it to fifty, and on the darkest of days, questioned if I even wanted to. Damn, I am glad I did, and that I have an incredible band of traveling companions with me on this road!

I should have been in the middle, with one on each shoulder.

Prince for the win.

Wait, another Prince song!

Lola and Tony?

Lola and Rico.

Muskrat Love!

“A man’s friendships are one of the best measures of his worth.” ~Darwin
“A woman’s, too. And by that measure, I’m loaded.” ~Maureen

“I have learned that to be with those I like is enough.” ~Walt Whitman
“Dressed as a song, WAY more than enough!” ~Maureen

“The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it.” ~Hubert H. Humphrey
“Awww, yeah!” ~Maureen