1. Bubble tea: “Balls” is an expression to express disgust, not something you should eat.
  2. Princess cake: I like white cake, and I like marzipan, but putting them together does not make a to-die-for cake.
  3. The bacon craze: I love me some bacon, but not in my vodka, my chocolate chip cookies, and especially not in my soap!
  4. Claw-foot tubs: Designer magazines make them look amazingly gorgeous. They can be, if they are only tubs. When they’re converted into showers, they suck. At least ours does. The shower curtains attack and have to be held in place with magnets. Plus, there’s no good place to put your stuff.
  5. Houses with “character”: Ours is filled with charming items such as claw-foot tubs with attack curtains and creative wiring. At a recent party, a guest said to me, “You two are so brave to take on an old house like this.” I laughed and answered, “Oh, no. We’re renting.” Relief washed over her face.
  6. Salespeople who use abuse your name:”So, Mariana, what I can do for you?” “Well, Mariana, we have a sale going on today.” We are not buddies, and even my buddies don’t use my name to start every other sentence!
  7. Music everywhere you go: I have thoughts of my own, thank you very much. I don’t need your loud, crappy music worming its way into my brain. At a restaurant the other night, we were “entertained” by KTLS – all Tortured Love Songs, all the time! There’s nothing like being serenaded by Michael Bolton…to make you want to jam a chopstick into your ear.
  8. Fortune cookies: I don’t love the flavor, but that’s not even my issue. I want a fortune, not a platitude. In the good old days, you might read, “You will meet a handsome stranger and travel the world.” Today? “Answer only to yourself. You know the questions.”
  9. Game of Thrones, the HBO series: I haven’t read the books, but I tried to watch the series to keep the husband company. I barely made it through the opening credits before someone was beheaded. Mind you, I have a very low threshold for violence and gore in movies and television. So #9 could simply be “violence for entertainment.” I don’t want to spend my money on something that’s going to give me nightmares. That said, I got convinced to watch another couple episodes of Game of Thrones – during which I closed my eyes quite a few times, when I could see the violence coming. What I couldn’t anticipate? The beheading of a horse! Yes, they beheaded a horse. I jumped up, screaming, “I’m done. Out of here. Going upstairs!” I think I even put in earplugs.
  10. Stupid numbered lists.

3 Comments

  1. I am SO with you on the Bubble tea.

    But I like our claw foot tub/shower – though I did have a custom shower curtain made…

  2. OK I am SO relating to you specifically on #s 7 and 8. #7 takes me back to San Diego RNR marathon, getting some food at that giant mall after the race, and being swamped with loud music OUTDOORS. And of course, you were always a fan of the word “platitude”.
    Disagree with you on #9 though: the violence is in service of a type of story, without which it would not be realistic, and please don’t take me to task for saying a dragons-and-magic fantasy is, um, realistic…

  3. I hear what you’re saying. I just don’t find the gore entertaining. I can handle “comic book violence,” but once it looks real (even with dragons or whatnot), I can’t take it.

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